40 to 41+5 Weeks

Unbelievable! I've gone over 40 weeks... I can't believe it... Very surprising... anyway..

I'm in a lot of pain. I feel like a walrus, and I look like one when trying to get out of bed. I need to pee every 10 minutes, but that's nothing compared to the pressure I feel down there. Getting up and sitting down hurts. My belly has indeed dropped and I can breathe more easily, that also means I can eat more too. *chuckle*

Speaking about Eat-Mores, my mom has arrived! She is visiting me (us) for 2 weeks and this is great news to me as she'll be here for when the baby arrives. Yay! I've already asked her if she wants to be there for the birth. We'll just have to wait and see what she chooses. To me, it's fine either way, but I think it would be a great experience:)

My mom being here, has given my husband and I the time to do evening strolls. We have made them into prayer walks and it's been a great way to bond and reflect on stuff together. Sweet things we do not take for granted. It's been really nice having my mom here. The kids love her and she has been a lot of help.

I've had a stretch and sweep done, it felt awful. This has to mean that the last time I was pregnant and had a sweep done, it wasn't done properly...I was like whoooah!!! this time around, sheesh!!! Owweee! I'll have another sweep done next week. And a scan. And fetal monitoring. The community birth program have already scheduled me in for an induction... silly people... 

41 Weeks....

...had another stretch and sweep done, with fetal monitoring and checking to see how much amniotic fluid the baby has. I still don't know whether we'll be blessed with a girl or a boy. Everyone thinks it's a boy... I have a strong boy feeling too at times, but I have not admitted that to anyone. I think, it then must be a girl, so...we'll see...

40+4... Any minute now?? (So I thought...)

...Oh I'm really over due now..., I'm becoming pretty anxious. Actually, I'm more sad than anything. I've been "labouring" for a week and some now, especially at nights and then the contractions just sizzle out. I wake up in the morning and my heart drops, my mom is leaving soon. I feel so sad. I really don't want her to miss out on the birth or seeing this little one.

We've tried everything to kick start this labour. Well, almost everything. Part of me feels so silly doing all these silly things, because ultimately, the date and exact second is known to God when this child is to be born.. I'm just becoming really impatient. And sad. And mad, at God. Silly me. I feel guilty.

41+3 Induction day... and the day my mom returned to Finland.

After saying our goodbyes, I bawled my eyes out for a good hour. I cannot remember the last time I cried so heavily. It is never easy to say bye, and especially since she won't even get to meet the baby, never mind be there for the delivery. Why oh why?! I'm going through every emotion there is. From peace and serenity to anger (at God and "blaming my luck"), and back.  I cry out to God, spill my guts, He knows how I feel. My mother is gone and I am being induced. The two things I really really didn't want to go through. He must know that right!!?? Won't He intervene? Why didn't He intervene with my mother's case? All I can do is trust that regardless of my disappointment, I trust in Him and I must believe that God is good and everything will work for the good for those who love Him. Romans 8:28